


Recommendation

by sowell



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-26
Updated: 2013-05-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 01:15:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/818239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sowell/pseuds/sowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke writes Naruto a letter of recommendation for the Hokage's seat. I don't even know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recommendation

Dear traitorous shitheads (you know who you are) and other committee members:

First of all, let me make it clear that the fact that Konoha is considering  _Uzumaki Narutro_  for the position of Hokage is just pathetic. The village would be better off with a monkey in office. Or Rock Lee. But he’s saved my life a few times, and he  _did_ convince the last Hokage not to hang me for treason, so here it is:

Naruto is a complete idiot. He graduated dead-last in the class, and it took him three times to pass the simplest exam in existence. If Iruka-sensei weren’t such a nice person, he’d probably  _still_  be sitting behind an academy desk. Not only that, but his best combat technique involves duplicating himself a billion times so that there are  _even more_  idiots running around. He’s a mess, seriously.

However, he does seem to have some luck in battle (not that he’s ever beaten  _me_ ), so he’s got that going for him. Also, I’m not really sure why, but he seems to have a lot of loyal friends. It’s strange, but probably an asset for a Hokage, I'd imagine. Not to mention, he has a gigantic fox living inside him, whose chakra tends to make an appearance at astonishingly appropriate times.

(And as a side note, I have a bone to pick: Is there a reason Yondaime didn’t choose an Uchiha to be the Kyuubi vessel? Because if even Naruto can control that thing, think what someone with  _actual_ abilities could have done with it. Like, say, _me_. Stupid.)

Naruto also has this  _moronic_  habit of thinking with his emotions. He risks his life so often for other people that I’m shocked he’s made it this far. It’s interesting, though - he makes terrible decisions, “strategy” is like foreign vocabulary to him, and I’m fairly certain a first-year academy student could match him in basic taijutsu. But he’s one of the only people I ever cared about beating. I think he even made Orochimaru nervous a few times. If he’s chosen as Hokage, I’m pretty sure he’ll be dead within six months, but Konoha will be as safe as a play pen.

He’s going to use clones to do his paperwork – you know that, right?

In conclusion, I can’t think of anyone less suited to lead a nation of shinobi. But really, he’s the best option you have.

Disdainfully yours,

Uchiha Sasuke, aka Last of the Uchihas.

Bitches.


End file.
